This blog used to be all about hard hitting witticisms, art Ive made, and social commentary but now I just post occasional dick jokes and reblog nonsense. I hope you enjoy it you sick bitches because I certainly do.

 

The feel when someone invites you to a facebook event and its like id actually rather die than go to your music recital

Played 398,957 times

the-century:

Can’t Help Falling In Love With You || Fleet Foxes

(Source: occupt)

slayboybunny:

alright now i used to hate pitbull because it seemed like the right thing to do but you know what i never hear him doing fucked up shit. as far as i know he is really just out there living life ,enjoying himself, visiting walmarts, and spreading the cubano party into the hearts of everyone around the world, he is mr. world wide and hes having a blast and i respect and love that pitbull. pitbull if youre reading this thank you and im sorry   

slythergin:

slytherin-elsa:

My mom got me this shiRT AND I AM LAUGHING SO HARD SHE DOESNT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT SHES DONE SHE DOESNT GET THE IRONY IN THIS I AM A CLOSETED LESBIAN THIS IS COMEDY GOLD I MIGHT COME OUT TO HER OVER THIS FUCKING SHIRT JUST TO EXPLAIN WHY I CANT STOP LAUGHING

UPDATE: When I told her I’m gay she crossed her arms and said in a really pissed off voice “Are you telling me I spent $15 on that shirt for nothing??”

slythergin:

slytherin-elsa:

My mom got me this shiRT AND I AM LAUGHING SO HARD SHE DOESNT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT SHES DONE SHE DOESNT GET THE IRONY IN THIS I AM A CLOSETED LESBIAN THIS IS COMEDY GOLD I MIGHT COME OUT TO HER OVER THIS FUCKING SHIRT JUST TO EXPLAIN WHY I CANT STOP LAUGHING

UPDATE: When I told her I’m gay she crossed her arms and said in a really pissed off voice “Are you telling me I spent $15 on that shirt for nothing??”

teacupwarrior:

Imagine that at the end of Dumbledore’s speech at the beginning of the year, he asks if there are any questions, and one first year muggleborn kid raises his hand, whips out a smart phone and asks for the wifi password.

And then Dumbledore just casually says “Sherbet lemon, with a capital S”, and commences the feast like it’s no big deal while the non-muggleborns think WIFI is some sort of secret society.

honestly wizards think muggles are primitive, but sirius black wouldnt be dead if harry could have just texted him like “yo dawg r u at the dpt of mysteries?”

everytime I eat mcdonalds its just like, why didnt i get more fries?

everytime I eat mcdonalds its just like, why didnt i get more fries?

pupchan:

people who use the xD face are still naive and full of life. they are happier than us. do not rain on their parade

wish mike parr hadnt already dont his work ‘I am sick of art’ bcoz that would have been perf for my assessment

no, do not invite me to the education revue. What sane human being would go to education revue. Youre all sick.